had a bit of a talk with mom and suprisingly it went well. she said she's trying to give ben more of a chance, and that dads working on it. so... yeah. we talked about other stuff than that for most of the time. (a lot about how i dont really have fun or friends here and all i do is sit and read etc)

and my eyes hurt
my head hurts from crying
i will look like a gargoyle tommorow
but it wouldnt be a real trip home if i didnt have a cryfest one of the first nights there

my mom figured i had pms but she is wrong, my friends.

they might get a double bed for my room this week. (my room has a guest room destiny) i dont fit in my stupid old twin bed with headboard and footboard! i can't stretch out at all, and it kept me awake a while last night. although i AM pretty darn sleepy right now. cancel that... i just feel dead, but with a headache. (i took meds for it, but no luck)

wish me sweet dreams,,,
ben, you were in my dream last night. i dreamed i was in a cal poly play and.... i forget. but you were there, and leif and david and they were mean to me. they didnt like my paintings, or my acting or my dancing or something like that, and they didnt want me to stay in the club thing we were at. the dream is confusing me, i need to go make new ones.
addendum: i remember the dream now. ben, you were my dance partner and we were dancing in roller skates and i did some interpretive modern dance sort of thing at a performance cause i couldnt really dance, and the crowd applauded but leif and david did not approve. and they were painters, and i think they were wearing funny scarves. goodnight.