visitors, i know what you want.

it has been revealed to me. you want nudity. but i must tell you, nudity is not a big part of my blog, contrary to what the search engines may tell you. but, in order to provide a service to my visitors, i will breifly discuss some of the topics that seem to be at the forefront of your minds.

out of the last 100 pageviews, two of you were looking for naked bowling, two for naked scuba diving, and two for naked cruises. (there was also mr. "nudist nude naked" but thats kinda overkill.) in my quest to provide the naked sports and travel information that so many of you are craving, here is a short report.

naked bowling

supposedly in terminator 3, "the T-1G" arrives naked in a bowling alley. unfortunatley, the movie script does not seem to depict her bowling. instead shes trying to find that poor kid. so that really doesnt tell us anything about the sport of naked bowling. perhaps it is always like this. you accidently appear in the bowling alley, naked. you dont know what to do. so you rent some bowling shoes and try to keep a low profile.

"but sarah!" you say, "if i wear bowling shoes, i won't be completely naked." well, my friend, it is a necesary evil. i found this in the FAQ of a bowling establishment: "Bowling shoes must be worn at all times while bowling. There are no exceptions to this rule. Failure to wear bowling shoes is grounds for immediate removal from the bowling alley." there is no mention of immediate removal on the grounds of nudity.

naked scuba diving

cold water and being naked doesnt really sound fun to me. i would like to have a wetsuit on. and maybe like... some fins and goggles and an air tank. you cant really scuba dive well in the nude. i mean, my dad was swimming in hawaaii and he stepped on a ... something. sea urchin i think. and it really really hurt. i have memories of seeing people who had been stung by sting rays crying at the beach. and i got stung by a jellyfish once. somehow, exposing MORE of your body to the nasty animals of the ocean sounds like a bad idea.

naked cruises

one word. SUNBURN. besides, who goes to nude beaches? dirty old men, folks. not beautiful college girls. theres a nude beach in the area, and the people who go there are usually old, fat, and european. i imagine a nude cruise would be the same way, except there is no escape. what if you like... wore clothes one day? everyone would make fun of you. hundreds of naked old men pointing at your silly clothes and laughing.