Thursday, February 01, 2007

I have to get my scar re-excised. But crying on the phone to the doctor scored me a referral to the special skin cancer doctors with extra training. I assume they are close to plastic surgeons.

So.... I'm really not happy about all this, but it has confirmed my crazy-careful watchfulness over my skin. Now my dermatologist wants me to come in "several" times a year. What does that mean? At least now I don't have to feel like a crazy hypochondriac.

My worries
1. It will come back that I have melanoma. (This is probably unlikely, but the doctor does seem... concerned.)
2. My scar will be just as bad as it is right now, or worse.

That thought was what made me cry. I hate the damn scar. hate! It took so many years to fade, and it still is something I look at and don't like every single day. I am worried that it will be worse. And even if it is narrower, it will be bright red for a year, and very pink and obvious for another two years, probably. People will ask me for years if I burned myself with a curling iron. When they ask I will once again start telling my "be careful of the sun" warnings several times a week. This sounds silly but when you have a large obvious scar, people ask.

I hope I can get this done next week, but I don't know..... They call me tomorrow to schedule.


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