arrrg!!!!!J!JIH!LJ!HLJBJg!HL?ihxf'zhg

another reason to be mad at him.

i'm so upset and depressed about everything that i completely forgot about the danielson show at bottom of the hill last weekend. and now it will be another two years or so before they come back to california.

damn it, i was going to go with you.

it probably would have been way to depressing to go by myself anyways. and it was a late late concert, so it wouldn't have been safe either. no way that anyone i know in san jose could have been convinced to go listen to mr. falsetto and felt tree. i'm pissed... wanted to go to that concert so bad and what was i doing saturday night instead? sitting at home feeling terrible and probably crying a bit.

i need to get rid of your car key. i have several reasons why that would make sense.

why did everything have to go so wrong? what is so terrible about me? ...or what isn't good enough?

i hate you for having friends
for getting to go to classes
for having roomates when you come home
for being the one who decides when its over

does your goal of being a better person even think about what you've done to me and what i've encouraged you to do in that regard? do you remember what our conversation was about on valentines day? and the thing, that happened last summer when i was in ny, like i said. not two years ago. this makes no sense i'm sure, but who cares. you probably dont. you didn't love me enough to stick with me.