i wasn't going to put this out there quite yet, but its time now.

i have a boyfriend. a steve boyfriend. if you know me, then you know that we have some history together. in fact, we were each other's first kiss...

it's been a bit over a week. the teachers at school are trying to embarras me in the lunchroom. i'm happy.

i took him out to a fancy dinner on saturday night. a couple firsts- i had escargot, and he ordered us wine. it was the nicest restaurant i have ever been to, so of course i spilled on myself a little bit. the place was right on the ocean, and there were little japanese lanterns hanging, and the food was so good... we took two hours to eat. it made me feel like a real grown up, which i think i need sometimes.

i was feeling really good, really secure, really nice
and then this morning i saw ben.
with his arm around a new girlfriend.

which is kinda messing with my head, along with this other thing i found out tonight.

i don't want him back.