Want to vent...

Feeling a little barfy and having a bit of a cancer freakout over here.

FDR died of melanoma, according to this week's news. Did you hear? Steve said I shouldn't have read the article, but from the title there was no indication of what the interesting medical revelation was....

But that isn't why I'm freaking out.... It is the answer to the question I've been wondering. If my 5 year survival rate is 95%, what is the 10 year?

The answer is 88%. 88% 10 year survival, or 12% chance of me being gone by 36. I KNOW I should not be thinking about this, but I am and I'm just saying f--- over and over in my head, and I really really don't use language like that. 88%? That is... not reassuring.

This article has a lot of info about melanoma.

My next dermatology checkup is at the end of this month.... I need more information. I have this horrible want to know what the chance of having this melanoma come back EVER is, and the chance of developing another one. (I assume it is pretty much guaranteed....)

I can't let myself end up getting panic attacks about this, and I think that facts are the best way to avoid that.