i wasn't going to put this out there quite yet, but its time now.

i have a boyfriend. a steve boyfriend. if you know me, then you know that we have some history together. in fact, we were each other's first kiss...

it's been a bit over a week. the teachers at school are trying to embarras me in the lunchroom. i'm happy.

i took him out to a fancy dinner on saturday night. a couple firsts- i had escargot, and he ordered us wine. it was the nicest restaurant i have ever been to, so of course i spilled on myself a little bit. the place was right on the ocean, and there were little japanese lanterns hanging, and the food was so good... we took two hours to eat. it made me feel like a real grown up, which i think i need sometimes.

i was feeling really good, really secure, really nice
and then this morning i saw ben.
with his arm around a new girlfriend.

which is kinda messing with my head, along with this other thing i found out tonight.

i don't want him back.

for halloween at school, i pinned a tea bag to my shirt. when anyone asked me what i was, i said "I'm a little teapot!" and did the whole hand on hip, other hand up for a spout thing. it was great. if only i had thought of it myself...

suprisingly, there was someone else dressed as a teapot. it was a kindergartener, and i must say that her costume was much more elaborate.

i was in victoria's secret and this elderly lady in one of those electric scooter wheelchair things ran into a wall. and an employee. i don't really know what happened exactly cause i was on the other side of a door, but i bet it was great... just kept hearing the worker saying, "Ma'am? ma'am?? stop! wait a minute please!" accompanied by a couple thumps.

it would suck if you were married to some rock star, but their most famous song was a love song to someone else.

i don't think i need to worry about that though. things aren't looking very good for me on the marrying a rock star front.

it's red ribbon week...

the kindergarten teacher, who is in charge of it, has very interesting things to say to my students every morning when he comes in to talk about it briefly and give out stickers or whatever.

Monday
He says something about staying tobacco, alcohol, and drug free. he then tells my students that its okay if i drink, and comments that "she probably needs a drink after a day with you." so i totally went to a bar later that night. he said it was okay.

Tuesday
he literally said this this morning. i am not joking. "your teacher does drugs on the weekend. she shoots up. thats why she wears long sleeves- to hide the track marks."

what the hell?

i've started a new, unproductive stage in my life.

i often need a hairclip, and see only a paperclip lying around. that happened this evening, and for the first time i tried it. it works! so i'll just be the girl wearing office products in her tresses, okay? 

so not only am i a mean human being who likes to make fun of people, i am also a strict and uninteresting teacher. who deserves to be complained about to the principal.

last year, miss -------- taught her students tai kwon do! in third grade, mr. --------- was strict, but my kid still liked school. you make my kid throw up! every week! because you hate him!

you are damaging his psycheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

last night i set my lesson plan book on top of the tv as i walked in. a few hours later i walked by it and thought "that is a silly place for my lesson plans to be."

so of course i forgot them there this morning.

AHHH! had no clue what i was doing all day long. just kind of made it up as i went.

also, my friend jessica who i havent seen since the day before school started told me that i look jaundiced and ill and have dark circles under my eyes. but really, people... i look better than i have in weeks!

my room mom (lead volunteer lady who is my lifesaver) got mad at me cause i haven't gotten groceries since september. i'll have to go shopping tommorow so that when we are driving out to the field trip friday i can brag to her about how responsible and food-eating i am.

my students write the funniest poems. this one is about a blind mountain climber.

I can't see anything my world is dark.
I can feel the snow and the hearing wind.
When I heard the Hip Hip hooary
I climbed down right a way
I smelled my choclate milk and cookies
I said to my girlfriend I love you babe
I can't wait until my next challange

.....and huh. the girl who sits next to our little poet has a strikingly similar poem. the biggest difference is that in hers, our mountain climber uses the pet name "pookie" instead of "babe"

i ask my students a question every morning as they walk through the door. some of them are silly, and some of them are pretty revealing.

today's question was, "If drinking a magic potion would make it so you never were sad again, would you drink it?"

i got 1 yes, 1 maybe, and 26 no's.

what a stupid idea. what a COMPLETELY stupid and awesome and shiny idea...

i have better things to do than write lesson plans. i have better people to spend my time with than mr. houghton mifflin.

i'm going to enjoy this, just as much as something like this deserves to be enjoyed. i feel damn special right about now.

and then on monday i will wonder what we were thinking.

do you like my beautiful new lamp? (ikea is my lover.) the base on it is about the coolest thing ever. the base and shade are kind of rounded triangles... so other than the lamp, i also bought a portable phone at best buy, and two sweaters at ann taylor loft. today was very much full of shopping. 

sometimes, teachers cry in the principal's office

it wasn't me, but yeah... this job is hard. we deserved that trip to the pub tonight. i also deserved that nap i took when i came home from work at 6pm.

i'm going to call this a mickey mouse knot. maybe i'm pulling that out of my ass, or maybe its true. i have no clue. why is this still on my computer, anyways?? 

i was at another school for a meeting today

off topic:
oh my gosh, they have WINDOWS? no fair! and the teachers all have laptops? and a freaking ELEVATOR? stupid new rich school. with windows. i'm lucky at my school- mine is one of the 11.11111111% of classrooms that have a window to look out of, even though it is covered with metal grating.

okay, so back to what i was saying. i was walking by some classroom and saw a name tag on a desk. some idiot totally named their daughter Shampayne.

Shampayne???????

my apartment complex invited me to dinner.

why yes, apartment complex. i would like free pizza and chicken wings. how did you know?

time warp 1999: lunch time, high school

my fat friend yells, I AM A DELICATE FLOWER!

but she wasn't

lets play a fun game called list all the crap sarah has eaten today!

alrighty!!!!

cup of chocolate chai
1/2 a chocolate glazed doughnut (then i felt ill)
honey roasted peanuts
cherry coke
taco bell chicken quesadilla
dried cranberries
dr pepper
two grilled cheeses from in n out

vegetables? i don't know what you're talking about.

i swear, when i go to the store i actually pick out very healthy food....

its like i have this self destructive impulse to not let myself get as much sleep as i need and to eat junk all day long.

someone help me!

i sat by the open window and the shins played

It's a luscious mix of words and tricks
That let us bet when you know we should fold
On rocks i dreamt of where we'd stepped
And the whole mess of roads we're now on.

i don't like leaving. don't like changing. don't like it.

and i cried right there next to the street.

did anyone wonder why that girl was crying in the window? nightime and everyone talking and laughing except for one girl staring out at the alley and the lights and the faces...

why can't things be all good or all bad? then my life could be simple and boring.

the guy in this picture totally hit on me tonight at 9.30 pm at the 76 station in king city. he was driving an infiniti and evidently is a doctor in san francisco. also, he is balding, has grey hairs, is short, and is probably about the age of my dad. he tried to get my number, but of course i did not give it to him. i did, however, let him hand me his card. thank you, dirty old doctor man. i thought you might have been a fake doctor, but evidently you are real. thank you for having a website so i can show everyone your little balding head. 

i called the collision repair place yesterday, and set up what i thought was probably just going to be an estimate for this afternoon.

instead, i've got my car in the shop, and a rental car at least until monday. (maybe even till wednesday.)

turns out i was right when i thought that my car was close to totalled by that four body panel keying job. it was close, guys. total damage was over $1,500. that was what i expected, but it blew my dad away. he thought it would be like $450...

i'm rockin the base model dodge neon

tommorow there will be no children! i am thrilled. i get to be a student all day long. instead of teaching while freaking out about the fact that i have to have progress reports done on friday morning, i can listen to people while my mind races about O, S, U and A, B, C, D, F.

my grampa always used to tell my dad that he had better work hard or else he would get an E. we always figured that was just crazy talk, but then we saw his high school transcripts. at the henry ford trade school in dearborn, they gave Es instead of Fs. funk-E!

----breaking news: brandeis gives Es too! sarah, meanwhile, gives everyone a B in p.e.

gah. that was not a fun email to write.

people keep telling me, "sarah, you look TERRIBLE!"

thank you!

i thought i looked semi well rested today, but i was wrong.

anyone want to host those two tiny little pictures that i have on the top of my blog? my cal poly accounts dissapeared and i thought i had another week. now i can't get the emails i wanted to save out of my accound. so i'm pretty much screwed in that regard.

i almost nodded off while teaching guided reading today. yeah.... bad. so i came home and slept for three and a half hours. just woke up.

all the lyrics for Neutral Milk Hotel's album "in the aeroplane over the sea" are swirling around in my mind over and over. (especially the ones for "holland, 1945" and "in the aeroplane over the sea."

What a beautiful dream
That could flash on the screen
In a blink of an eye and be gone from me
Soft and sweet
Let me hold it close and keep it here with me

i think that that album has to be my all time favorite. every single syllable is so full of feeling and crazyness and truth.

so, um.

i just had a very interesting weekend, full of stuff that i could not have imagined would happen even 24 hours ago. i had a freakishly wierd, wonderful birthday. (it was surreal, but not in the carrying around a meaningless duck carcass way.) i went to my 3rd bar, ate sushi with a family that isn't mine, snuggled with two people at once, and traveled through time.

i also ran into my principal outside of the bars. that was kinda strange too...

so i guess i now have two friends in san jose - that is a good thing. i left my car unlocked in a parking garage downtown and nothing happened. i am awesome!

and OH MY GOSH i am not ready for monday. i've gotten like a sum total of 7-8 hours of sleep this weekend. soooo not what i planned.